What is wrong with you John Lannan?

I normally never talk sports but my secret passion, baseball and in particular Chase Utley. The Philadelphia Phillies just marked their 10,000 loss. So pitcher John Lannan couldn't just play fair and take pity on us . How dare you break the hand of the dreamy Chase Utley, he's half of the reason why I go to baseball games, poophead. How could you also Ryan Howard too?

Curses on you rookie. I hope you get jock itch. Get well Chase!